Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
