Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
