I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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