so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
