So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
