You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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