You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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