...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
