We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I smell like Dick and happiness
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
