I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
