Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
