i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
