Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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