Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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