Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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