Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.

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(305): View more from Florida

Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

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(585): View more from New York

you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it

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(214): View more from Texas

COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!

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(614): View more from Ohio

She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this

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(269): View more from Michigan

Security deposit gone.

(269): View more from Michigan

burned down garage with fireworks.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you

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