So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
