I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
