You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm really busy with my period
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