ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
