I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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