I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
