Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
