He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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