It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
