Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
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