you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
