I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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