me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
