I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
