yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
