Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
