you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
