Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
