two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
