"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
