Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize