I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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