You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
