Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
