i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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