I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
