Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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