you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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