No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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