Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
