did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
