Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My balls are so social today.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
