I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
