I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
