Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
