Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Let's get the cat blown out
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
