I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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