I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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