Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
