I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
