I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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