Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
