Buhtt sex?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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